Speaking Mental Health
Forward Times Mental Health Advisors
Let us go way back to childhood. There was this game we used to play during recess or just being outside with friends and it was called “Mother, may I?” You would start out with a group of friends, and you would choose leader through a process of elimination. The leader was considered Mother. Mother would call your name and give you a command. Your response to Mother’s command should have been, “Mother, may I?” and then she would say, “Yes, you may.” However, if you did not say “Mother, may I?” and just moved forward with the command, you would have to go back to the starting point. In essence, you had to get permission from Mother to move forward, hopefully until you could win the game.
The game taught you a few things. It taught you to respect “Mother”, who was the person in authority. It also taught you to ask for permission because doing things impulsively will cost time. It ultimately taught you how to follow rules to win a game.
As an adult, have you ever paused when considering what to do? Perhaps the pause was not because it was a question of right or wrong, but just because there is the unspoken list of what to do and what not to do. Every now and then, you may find yourself giving yourself permission to do what you want to do, regardless of the unspoken list. As simple as that may sound, it may be challenging at times, especially depending on the variables involved.
Giving yourself permission as an adult is important to maintaining your mental health. It is imperative that you assess why you do what you do, and why you do not do some things you would like to do. Giving yourself permission is a way of putting yourself first. Giving yourself permission aligns with the thought of self-care. You should remember that you are responsible for being the best, healthiest version of yourself. Ultimately, giving yourself permission is understanding that the rules you live by are subject to change, and you can change them to maintain your mental health.
With that perspective, here are a few examples of ways you can give yourself permission:
- Give yourself permission to be fully you, without trying to fit anyone’s mold.
- Give yourself permission to sleep in every now and then and not feel guilty about it.
- Give yourself permission to laugh at yourself.
- Give yourself permission to be perfectly imperfect and love all your flaws.
- Give yourself permission to express yourself, to laugh loud, to love deeply, to cry hard.
- Give yourself permission to reach out to someone if you are thinking about them, and not just wait to hear from them.
- Give yourself permission to not take yourself so seriously.
- Give yourself permission to be spontaneous and step away from your “to do” list.
- Give yourself permission to allow new thoughts and ideologies to be integrated into your belief system.
- Give yourself permission to stop and feel.
- Give yourself permission to START OVER!
- Give yourself permission to make mistakes and the grace to correct them.
- Give yourself permission to say, “I’M SORRY, I WAS WRONG, I LOVE YOU,” or “YOU HURT ME!”
- Give yourself permission to try new things at your own pace.
- Give yourself permission to grieve everything that ended.
- Give yourself permission to feel sad and sit in your sadness, knowing that it is temporary.
- Give yourself permission to express your happiness and share it with those who love you.
- Give yourself permission to say, “I really don’t know what I’m doing.”
To check out my podcast, visit my website at https://www.thechangenavigator.info/podcast.
Also, search Amazon Kindle for my eBook, “PIVOT: 8 Keys to Reinventing Your NOW”
Search lulu.com for my paperback book, “Finding the YES in the NO: A Guide to Overcoming Rejection”